U.S. Coast Guard Retiree

1. Help your mentee understand and define their goals
The most important job all mentors have is to help their mentees understand and define their goals. This is your first task as a mentor. Many mentees have difficulty mapping out their needs or arranging them according to priority. With the mentor’s help, mentees can clarify their goals, ensuring a fruitful mentor-mentee relationship.

2. Set expectations at the beginning of the engagement
It’s important to lay down some ground rules and expectations at the beginning of the mentorship. At the first meeting, define how often you’ll meet, where you’ll meet, and who will lead the discussion. Having these expectations in place will pave the way for a smooth mentoring experience.

3. Take a genuine interest in the person
Although mentorship is a professional relationship, taking a genuine interest in your mentee will enhance the experience. Getting to know each other will help you work better together. A key part of working together is helping your mentee define and reach their goals — whether short-term, long-term, or both.

4. Put the responsibility of growth in the mentee’s hands
A mentor’s role is to encourage, support, and advise. Your mentee will need to do the hard work of taking action. Have them break down their goals into smaller steps they can accomplish at a time so as not to feel overwhelmed.

5. Hold them accountable
You can help your mentee develop characteristics that will lead to their success by holding them accountable. They should be working towards their goals, and your job is to check in with them to see that they are doing what needs to be done. With your guidance, they can achieve most or some of their goals before the end of the relationship.

6. Understand how to give feedback to the mentee (discern when to be upfront or more constructive)
Knowing how to provide feedback to your mentee constructively depends largely on understanding them. Some mentees can handle a direct approach, while others will need you to soften the blow before they can hear what you have to say. Also, know when to advise them and when to keep your opinions to yourself. After all, being a great communicator is one of the 12 pivotal qualities of a great mentor.

7. Focus on the needs of the mentee rather than telling them what you think they need
Based on the goals of the mentee and their strengths and weaknesses, you should be able to discern what they need to succeed. But as you do this, be sure you’re not just focusing on what you think they need. Rather, sincerely consider what will help them reach their goals and attain growth.

8. Point out their blindspots if you spot them
Helping your mentee recognize their challenges - including their blind spots, is essential to a successful mentoring experience. If you can see something in your mentee that they need to overcome, help them recognize it.

9. Read between the lines to pull out insight from the mentee
Mentorships will allow you to practice emotional intelligence. You’ll need to listen to what your mentee tells you but also read between the lines to gain a better understanding of your mentee and their situation.

10. Share stories, not instructions
Most growth and development come from gaining understanding and wisdom. Simply telling your mentee what they should do won’t help them grow. And it will create a mentorship that is more like a manager-employee relationship. Share relatable stories from when you were in a similar position.

11. Guide your mentee to answer rather than telling them
One of your goals as a mentor is to help your mentee develop some independent thinking. Consider yourself more of a teacher than a drill sergeant. When they are trying to solve a problem, guide them to the right answer rather than tell them how to go about solving the issue. Always give them the opportunity to figure things out and develop problem-solving skills

12. Instill confidence
Empower your mentee by instilling confidence in them. When mentees can grow and learn to solve their issues independently, they’ll gain more confidence in themselves. From a mentee standpoint, this is vital to a successful mentoring experience.

13. Leverage your network to help your mentee and sponsor them if appropriate
Draw upon your connections to help your mentee grow. If they need some development in an area that you may not have much expertise in, put them in touch with someone from your network who can help. In the same way, if you hear of a new opportunity that your mentee would be right for, put their name forward and advocate for them.

14. Recognize growth and celebrate successes
As the mentorship evolves and your mentee reaches their goals, celebrate them. This can be as simple as sending them a message or card to acknowledge what they’ve accomplished and to show how proud you are of their success.

15. Be real with your mentee
Honesty is a key ingredient for a great mentoring experience. It helps build trust in a mentoring relationship. Share your failures and successes with your mentee so they can know it is not always rosy. They would also benefit from the lessons and know what pitfalls to avoid in their own journey.
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